I hit the ground running, researching online every article about autism. I was hurting so badly, confused, not knowing what to do and blaming myself for my son’s autism. But deep down inside, I knew her words were true. It was surreal as if she was talking about a different child, not mine. I wanted to punch the doctor so badly to stop her from talking. I remember the day my husband and I received the diagnosis. Indeed, something was wrong, it was autism. But as the months passed, Richard’s development seemed to further lag. For as long as I could, I listened to their opinions, in the hope that they were right and I was wrong. Whenever I brought it up with others, I was told not to worry because boys are often delayed in their speech development and he would catch up. Most noticeable of all, he lost his words and his eyes took on a dreamy look. He became fixated lining up his toy cars. Somewhere after his first birthday, though, he slowly began to change. Early photos and videos show him smiling for the camera, playing with the dog and uttering two word sentences. Richard was right on track developmentally. Anywhere we went, people would come up to us to remark how handsome he was with his mischievous smile. He was a beautiful, bright-eyed baby who smiled and cooed at everyone he met. Twelve years ago, I gave birth to my youngest child, Richard.
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May 2023
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